Director Uwe Boll has made quite a few films in the last few years, nearly all of them dismissed, disgraced and disowned by moviegoers, and with good reason. They stink. Boll has gone on the defense, saying that those who criticize his films -specifically “BloodRayne”- haven’t seen it. Well, I’m sure that there are some on the net that are like that. But what about those folks who have seen ‘House Of The Dead’, where the actresses research into their characters was playing a video game, and the horrible hackwork with ‘Alone In the Dark’? He says he’s getting better. He also says people aren’t giving him a fair chance. Fair enough. I’ve seen ‘House Of The Dead’. I’ve seen ‘Alone In The Dark’. Now, “BloodRayne”. Is “BloodRayne” a step up for Boll? Yes. Is it better than his previous films? Yes.

Does the film still stink? Hell yes! Now, there are some minor bright spots in this film, one of them is Kristanna Loken. Yes, I could predict Rayne would fall for Sebastian (Matthew Davis) but I had no idea she’d dominate him and aggresively pin him to a dungeon gate and…well, let’s just say I wished I was on the receiving end. Rough sex Uwe can film well. I liked this underwater catfight between Loken and Michelle Rodriguez. Rough gals going at it, Uwe can film alright. Uwe’s second unit throws in scenes of sweeping vistas and grassy countrysides. A cameo by Udo Kier as a priest scores a few bonus points. Thommy Opatz, the special effects makeup artist, has a field day with splatter and arms cut off, stomach cuts and faces caked in the red.

Oh, did you really think I was going easy on Uwe? All I said was as far as silly exploitation pictures go, it isn’t terrible and it is better than his last two pictures. I didn’t say I loved this film nor that it is a work of art. Far from it. The CGI effects are lousy. The editing is mangled. One too many flashbacks. But the biggest problem of all, aside from the horrible costume design and the waste of the talented Sir Kingsley? The action is clumsy and badly choreographed. It’s as if not one of the actors has ever appeared in an action film, let alone a fantasy film before. There’s an FX scene where Rayne goes to take an artifact, a mystical eyeball. She goes through a small series of CGI saws- once she gets the gem, the saws are gone. They don’t show up again, even though they should. When all is said and done, all of the bad outweighs any possible good. When a film fails like this, all fingers point to one person -director Uwe Boll.

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BloodRayne
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring: Kristanna Loken, Matt Davis, Michael Madsen, Udo Kier, Michelle Rodreguiez and Ben Kingsley.

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