There is a small three-minute scene in this new film based on a video-game which was widely talked about. It involves a point-of-view shot, incorporating a video-game-like ‘first person shooter’ angle. For die hard fans of the PC game “Doom”, this might be considered a highlight of the movie. I will agree for about a minute that this was a nice tip of the hat, but like the rest of the movie, it outwears its welcome. In that scene, the character holds his weapon just like in first person shooter games. You shoot the target, then your gun sort of floats in front of you until you fire again. Seeing it once onscreen is neat. See it go on and then switch to a funky chainsaw to ward off a mad creature is outright maddening. Then it is back to the gun, still in first person shooter. If anyone seriously loves this sequence, you better start writing your apology letters to Uwe Boll.

No, the *cough* esteemed *hack* Mister Boll is not behind this video-game to film adaption, we have Andrzej Bartkowiak to thank for this travesty. While I have mildly enjoyed Bartkowiak’s past action films (Cradle To The Grave, Exit Wounds) I can’t say I mildly enjoyed this one, at least not until Karl Urban steps up and commands the screen. Urban has a bit more presense than his co-stars have, and that’s really due to the exception of his character, John “Reaper” Grimm and Rosalind Pike’s Samantha Grimm, nobody else is that far developed, really. Doom the movie wants to be the new Aliens, and I think that’s a fair comparison. If the film fails because there’s nothing more to distinguish characters from one another other than their height and race, and they nearly have the same four-letter vocabulary skills, then something’s wrong. We have a few characters who also care little about human life, which I found a little hard to believe, but, given the casting, someone has to go hand to hand with The Rock. You can raise your hand if you know who that is, but don’t blurt out the obvious answer. We also have a few characters who are more interested in sexual harrassment than the job at hand. This is a bigger mistake, since the lines, meant to be funny, aren’t. Worse, these bozos may not be the first to get ripped apart by monsters in the shadows, but you really would like to see these characters meet a bad end.

Is that the point of the movie? Do we care if these soldiers live or die, when we are asked to accept that it is only a bloody popcorn film, and that’s that? I suppose if that were the case, the fim could be enjoyed, but it can’t be. Endless searching through dark corridors, hallways with big steaming pipes, and characters who call out the names of the missing – only to be headed to the slaughter themselves. The film is set on Mars, but you never see a bit of it except in the opening scene and a brief few seconds of a memory. The film is set in 2046, but with exception of one super gun, nothing, aside from a Star Trek-like transporter room (only you go in a funky water bubble, and come out the other side losing your lunch), looks that advanced. Almost the first two acts of the film are routine.

There are some nice touches for the monsters, but the only three real ‘gotcha’ moments are when one of the creatures gets caught in a ‘nano field’ door – half in and half out, with no means of getting free; and when one of the dead says a quick Hail Mary before bashing his head against a hard pexiglass window. The third one is the old False Alarm trick- an homage to ‘Alien’, no less, just substituting a cat for a mutated dog.

How do these creatures come into being? Well, there was some sort of genetic expieriment regarding the discovery of a ‘lost chromosome’ which, in some people, causes rapid healing, increasing strength and agility… but in others, turns them into something else. Those infected with the monster virus, transmit through their chosen victims and some funky-looking leech. That’s really all I can tell you, not because I want to give any great details away, but simply because in the entire film it is the only great detail. What saves the film is the sudden conflict between two characters, but again, that’s just setup for a fight scene (although not a bad one).

The film will make money due to namesake alone. Some viewers might go to the film to see The Rock or Urban. Some people will like the creature effects and FX makeup. A few others might go home and play the video-game. In any case, most of the film will be forgotten about within twelve hours or less.

*******

DooM
Directed by: Andrzej Bartkowiak
Starring: Karl Urban, Rosalind Pike and Dwyane “The Rock” Johnson

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