Everyone claiming Hollywood is mainly driven by the need to be creative is either unrealistic or not from this planet. The main motivation for Hollywood will always be money, lots and lots of money. One of the biggest exhibits for this thesis (although better covered by the word ‘axioma’), is the incredible amount of really lousy and uninspired sequels. Some of the main signs you are dealing with a crappy sequel is the addition of a number behind the title (Jaws 2, Exorcist II, Poltergeist II) rather than coming up with a new title, or the unwillingness of (parts of) the famous cast to reappear in the follow-up. It is rather easy for a reviewer to burn down such ‘cheapquels’ (which can be fun anyhow). In stead, I decided to fundamentally review some of the worst films ever in a series devoted to honor lousy sequels to Hollywood blockbusters..
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The latest film by director, Kazuaki Kiriya, reveals his music video making past. None the less, Casshern (2004) is a groundbreaking science-fiction movie in the tradition of The Matrix (1999) and Fritz Lang’s Metropolis (1927). It is a smorgasbord of CGI and live action which will have you wide eyed in a trance as you attempt to take in the oversaturated colors and deluge of imagery. With its strong anti-war message, Casshern makes anime into live action and shows how this art form has grown up.

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Everyone claiming Hollywood is mainly driven by the need to be creative is either unrealistic or not from this planet. The main motivation for Hollywood will always be money, lots and lots of money. One of the biggest exhibits for this thesis (although better covered by the word ‘axioma’), is the incredible amount of really lousy and uninspired sequels. Some of the main signs you are dealing with a crappy sequel is the addition of a number behind the title (Jaws 2, Exorcist II, Poltergeist II) rather than coming up with a new title, or the unwillingness of (parts of) the famous cast to reappear in the follow-up. It is rather easy for a reviewer to burn down such ‘cheapquels’ (which can be fun anyhow). In stead, I decided to fundamentally review some of the worst films ever in a series devoted to honor lousy sequels to Hollywood blockbusters..

The Exorcist was labelled one of the scariest films ever made. Even the scariest, if you’d trust the promotional taglines. I agree it is one of the most effective horror flicks I have ever seen, mainly because of the perfect way suspension is built. This feeling of suspense is also accomplished by the slow but thorough introduction, that undeniably encourages to develop sympathy for the main characters. This film worked so wonderfully, because of its perfect mix of (off-screen) suggestion as well as on-screen yet well-dosed gore.

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This French story of mystery deals with a strange boarding schools for girls. As the movie begins we see one of the new girls arriving in a coffin. She is accepted in her group (consisting of seven girls of different ages) right away and starts to bond with the eldest girl of her group, Bianca. Throughout the film you question yourself why the girls are part of the school, what kind of school we’re dealing with and why they are not allowed to have contact with their parents or friends.
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This documentary by Dutch director Frank Scheffer is deceiving in various ways. It appears to start off as an inside look at the cultivation and tradition of Chinese and Japanese tea, but eventually develops into a documentary about a modern Chinese opera by Tan Dun (known for his score for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), called Tea Opera. If you are not into modern (in my opinion atonal) opera this is not the documentary for you. You get to see snippets of the production, intersected with stylistic images about the ancient art of Chinese and Japanese tea making. Both subjects aren’t treated fully, which creates an enormous distance to the subjects. Very philosophical, but also a film that gives you a hard time keeping your eyes and ears open.
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I have seen movies with weird plots, but this one is just as insane as it is horrendously executed. A man buys a second hand washing machine. Once he has dragged the damn thing homeward, it refuses duty by stopping and starting at random. It turns out that the machine is inhabited by a woman (I assume either a spirit or an alien) who crawls out and starts doing household chores for the man. The man, highly entertained by watching his new slave do the hard work, decides to act as her ‘pimp’ by renting her out to other people, including an old man, who introduces the woman as his new love interest.
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Being a sucker for Asian horror and thriller movies, I was eagerly looking forward to the latest instalment by the Thai/Hong Kong Pang brothers, who are most well-known for The Eye and, recently, The Eye 2 (both highly recommended, especially The Eye). This time only one of them, Oxide Pang, mounted the directing chair, although his brother, Danny, remained closely tied to the project as a producer.
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Being a fan of the work of Miike Takashi (Audition, Ichi the Killer, Zebraman), this was a title I was eagerly looking forward to. It tells the story of Izo, murdered in the nineteenth century and returning as a ghost, possessing the body of a man in present day Japan. With his new body, Izo kills everything in his path (including his mother and even school kids) to seek his revenge.
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This film by Argentine director Lucrecia Martel and co-produced by Pedro Almódovar, tells the story of a mother (Helena) and her daughter (Amalia). Helena is the owner of a big hotel that is nearly taken over by a congress of doctors. Helena comes into contact with a certain doctor named Jano. Jano turns out to be a pervert, secretly trying to force his sexual frustrations on Amalia, without her mother’s awareness. Amalia, a teenager in the midst of her sexual awakening, is both repulsed as well as intrigued by Jano’s avances.

It is hard to tell where Martel loses her grip on this film. It appears to be within the slow plot development. The film desperately tries to keep intentions and ambiguity of the characters shrouded in mystery, but as a member of the audience you want answers sooner or later, or at least an inkling. Martel hides too much, seeming almost afraid of showing the true nature (and perhaps weakness) of the people that inhabit La Niña Santa. It anxiously tries to cover up its nakedness, showing little or no exposure of true motivations, let alone what goes on in the minds of the mother and daughter. What a waste, since some essential building blocks are present, but the construction is too weak and falls apart after half an hour.

Directed by: Lucrecia Martel
Starring: Mercedes Morán, Cerlo Belloso, Alejandro Urdapilleta, Maria Alché, Julieta Zylberberg
Runtime: 106’
Release Dates: US: , UK: 4 February 2005, The Netherlands:
Official Website
photo: International Filmfestival Rotterdam

This documentary by Chinese director Tian Zhuangzhuang focuses on the ancient Tea Horse Route in the central Himalayan country of Tibet. This time it does not focus on the horrible human-rights violations of the Tibetan population (half of which lives in exile, predominantly in India) by China, nor on the Tibetan desire for self-determination. It shows us the people and their work in Tibet. It also gives insight in the upcoming modernism and looming extinction of ancient tradition and folklore.This is a documentary you ought to see on the big screen, sitting in the front of the movie theater. The beauty of Tibet will absorb you. It also has a strong National Geographic feel to it and the dubbed voices of the interviewees is a bit irritating. Delamu is also way too long and occasionally too s l o w…
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