RSS 2.0Honey (2003)
I’m developing a love/hate relationship with the Sneak Preview at my local cinema. They used to show some pretty good movies, but lately it’s all been utter crap. Take this movie for instance. “Honey” makes “Coyote Ugly” look like a masterpiece.
This movie’s got two things going for it. The first is Jessica Alba who plays the title role. She’s a radiant beauty, and I’ve always felt sorry for her when I watched the completely silly TV series “Dark Angel” in which she plays a genetically enhanced super soldier (really!). What a way to have to start your career. Well, with looks like hers it was only a matter of time before anyone would offer her a step up from that. Guess this is it.
The other thing is the music. With a soundtrack filled with Hip Hop and R&B this movie really squeezes the last bit of bass from the cinema’s DTS sytem, which is fun. Tweet, Ginuwine and Missy Elliot have small roles playing themselves, and most of the dancing is pretty energetic.
“Honey” is about a young dancer trying to make it in the world of music videos. She gets discovered while dancing in a club and quickly becomes a choreographer. A brilliant move, because ms. Alba can’t actually dance all that well. We’ve all seen this kind of story a hundred times, and we all knew that it can work. But here they’ve done it all wrong. Honey Daniels doesn’t have a single character flaw for instance, making her highly unbelievable. Asides from her carreer she tries to keep young kids of the street by offering them a place to dance. Drug runnin’ gangsta kids busting into dance… it doesn’t get any sillier than that.
My friend and I predicted how the story would unfold during the intermission, and we were 95% right. It really is the most unoriginal story I’ve ever seen. It had me laughing out loud towards the end. Luckily the costume designer made an effort never to cover up Jessica’s belly button, making all this stupidity quite enjoyable to watch :9.
Rated 1 (out of 5), averaging 3 bonus points for the way Jessica Alba looks with a -1 for the story.
Roy (117 posts)Web designer and programmer, movie fanatic and devoted dad from Huizen, The Netherlands.
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OMG: we have the same Sneak Previews here… I go there every week but I skipped this one…
Next week: Duplex by Danny Devito starring Drew Barrymore and Ben Stiller…. last week ik was Honey and the week before that Timelime, which was horrible…
Comment by arjan — Mon March 29, 2004 @ 10:45Wait a sec. I know the Cinema manager personally, and I knew the Wolff group takes great pride in the fact that they’re a real sneak. Sneakpoint.nl never has any clue as to which movie is to show. Arjan, could you check http://www.sneakpoint.nl/bioscopen.php?biosid=39 to see if the list matches completely? Would be nice to at least be able to avoid disasters like this one
Comment by weefselkweekje — Mon March 29, 2004 @ 12:46But don’t you think getting really drunk and watching this back to back with SAVE THE LAST DANCE would be hysterical?
Comment by marisa — Mon March 29, 2004 @ 16:48It matches almost completely
This Wednesday we get: Duplex and we get a hint for the week after. In week 15 teh hint is: he hasn’t sat still. I THINK we will get Dawn of the Dead…
There were times whe we had real previews like with The Matrix and The Truman Show (months before release).
We also have an arthouse sneak-preview every Tuesday. 21 Grams is showing tomorrow…
Comment by arjan — Mon March 29, 2004 @ 17:35BTW: I know there only a few distributors who throw their movies as a sneak preview. It used to be a testing case for audiences whether a movie should be released here. Nowadays it is meant to service as mout to mouth publicity.
The lists very often matches because there are just a few copies that are sneak previes. E.g. the sneak preview in Arnhem is on Tuesday and the day after the same tape travels to Nijmegen, so the titles match…
Comment by arjan — Mon March 29, 2004 @ 17:38It’s refreshing to know that some people loathe this piece of dirt more than I do. At least I like to think so. Maybe I hate this piece of dirt more than anyone here.
I caught the film on DVD, and would it surprise anyone that the dance numbers are just extended (or the same length) versions of the music videos? No…I don’t think that’s a revelation.
Do I like Jessica Alba? Yes. But I don’t care for her here. Her character is too perfect…well, okay, you mentioned that. But I also felt the cliche of the sleazo manager was…oh, you didn’t like that either. You knew he was slime when he appeared on screen, even though the character shouldn’t have been.
Well, what can I bring to the table? I know!
Remember the film “The Commitments”? During the course of that story, there was supposed to be an appearance by blues legend Wilson Pickett; who might have given the young band an endorsement to stardom. Not one of the band thought Pickett would show, and broke up in heated arguements, then left. As he heads home, the young manager walks down the street when a limousine pulls up. We don’t know who it is, but the occupant is looking for the club where The Commitments were playing; the person identifies himself as Wilson Pickett. Based on the manger’s long look, this was the case.
What does that have to do with Honey? Well, it was not only poetic, but it felt real, and most effective dramatically as opposed to the fairy tale that Honey proposes.
Also, for those who really “want” a double feature, can I recommend “Breakin 2 Electric Boogaloo”? I mean, you know…if you really have to…
Comment by Darren J Seeley — Sat September 3, 2005 @ 4:03it was good enough for me, come on. do you thinnk you could dance as good as that. the story wasnt that bad. it had a lot of twists. it had heaps of really amazing people in it and the people producing it.
Comment by Sajeeda — Tue October 4, 2005 @ 12:43